Tonight we started the first step towards weaning Keira from breastfeeding. She got a bottle before bedtime instead of her usual breastmilk.
The bubster didn’t complain at all. She gulped down the milk and went to sleep with not a peep out of her. She loves the bottle now.
I on the other hand am feeling the loss. We were actually supposed to drop the night feed yesterday, but I postponed it because I wasn’t ready yet.
What a turnaround this is from a year ago when I had so much trouble establishing breastfeeding.
When Keira was born, breastfeeding was the hardest part of the whole new baby experience. It was painful (when it wasn’t supposed to be); it took forever to feed her - one hour sessions, eight times a day - meant eight hours of painfilled frustration every day; I got engorged, blocked ducts, blisters… I told myself that 3 months of this was all I could take, if I could make it that far!
I finally had to see a lactation consultant to find out why it hurt. She couldn’t figure it out either, but told me to persevere. It was a learning process for both me and Keira and we needed more practice.
So I persevered.
Then one day, when Keira was around 2 months old, the pain magically disappeared. From then on, breastfeeding got easier and easier. I began to enjoy it, especially during the quiet moments when it was just me and the little one, and all you want to do is brush her hair and stroke her cheek, while she drifts peacefully to sleep on warm milk.
Some moments were pure bliss.
6 months came and went and I saw no reason to stop, although we did make sure Keira learnt how to drink from a bottle as well in preparation for the time when we did stop.
And now she is one year old. I have breastfed way longer than I ever intended. I have loved the bond it created between me and baby, breastfeeding is a wonderfully warm and tender experience.
But I have to acknowledge the fact that Keira is growing up, she is a little girl already! So tonight we replaced the bedtime breast feed with a bottle. I’m still continuing with the morning feeds for awhile longer, but eventually I will have to say goodbye to my baby.
I suppose I feel this loss because it is like the end of an era, and the next stage of toddlerhood is about to begin.
Goodbye baby…